Secrecy is killing us.

           It isn't any of those oath-bound religious vows that some of us take and nor is it the vast array of credit card numbers, computer passwords, and PINs that we guard against discovery with our economic lives. Even the recent publicity surrounding unlisted phone numbers, "do-not-call" lists, and other privacy issues does not apply to the secrets that are going to do us in. Rather, my "secrecy" concern is with a fundamental societal force: the fear of discovery.

           Here our various cultures sit, early in the 21st century, cowering in the darkness as if they have something to hide. We seem petrified by the prospect of information expansion. The very thought that our customs, beliefs, and lives can be quantified and known fills us with a dread that, somehow, we are being diminished, diluted, or threatened. It's like the politically incorrect image of a so-called "primitive" refusing to have a photo taken out of fear that it will steal his soul. That stereotype's fear is that he is being dilluted by information about him being spread beyond his own, personal reach. This paranoia seems to be built upon the belief that by preventing information about us from reaching some potentially unknown (and therefore, potentially hostile) group of "others" -those who are not part of our own tribe- we can protect something personal.

           What that "something" is, doesn't get defined. All the camera-shy person is saying is that the quality under protection by this pattern of obscuring or hiding information is ephemeral and ill-defined in a fundamental way.

           This is not entirely without justification and merit. I freely admit to having been in situations where I've felt the need to conceal something about myself for fear of what an employer or family member might do upon finding out. Several times I have taken steps to make certain that various people -for one reason or another- don't discover that I am a Pagan, bisexual, Furry, or member of some other subculture with which I identify. I have chosen to hide some element of my life that -in an enlightened society- I should not have to conceal. I know the fear of ignorant repercussion and persecution all-too-well! However, it's finally dawning on me that secrecy is slowly killing our community.

A World of Minorities

           Which community, you ask?

           It doesn't matter. Whether you are a member of a sexual minority, racial minority, cultural minority, religious minority, or even just a recreational minority, the secrets we keep are isolating us. Like eons of weather breaking the mountains into plains, the tendency to hide elements of our selves from those "outside" is steadily whittling us down to our most common, mainstream, elements. Those things that make us unique are being diffused by a larger environment of suspicion; hiding is only making it worse. When society turns its eyes -as a collective entity- towards smaller fringe groups whose primary identifying characteristic appears to be that they are not like everyone else, it instinctively recoils in fear. The very existence of beliefs outside the norm forces those who possess mainstream viewpoints to question them.

           "Why don't they believe in 'X'? What's wrong with 'X'?"

           The most direct answer to this often internally-voiced question is, of course, "there's nothing wrong with my beliefs; the problem must lie with those 'others'". From there it is only a short trip to suspicion and fear. As time goes on, small communities accrue more and more of this suspicion. The accretion is even more acute if the group possesses different beliefs regarding a taboo subject such as sex or religion.

           But what if you are not in the minority? What if, by some stroke of luck, you were born completely within the majority? Don't think you're in the clear.

           Even today, in the United States of America, the whitest, most sports-watching, woman-loving, mainstream man on the block is sure to possess some characteristic that makes them not quite the same as the guy next door. Perhaps it's their choice of music, their political beliefs, or even those small habits that they engage in when making themselves breakfast; no matter how "normal" a person thinks they are, there is usually something that sets them apart from everyone else. The mainstream, therefore, only exists as a hypothetical state generated by statistics. Everyone, in some way or another, is a minority.

           The biggest tragedy of this existence is that no one sees it. To any individual, they must be either "mainstream" or "minority". And, in truth, some people are more with the statistical norm than others.

           However, these individuals who seemingly possess nothing unusual in their lives are either statistical anomalies (in itself, a minority) or are blending in with a skill that any chameleon should envy. For many, the rituals of self-suppression are so second-nature that they perform them without thinking about it. Yet every time they engage in such denial, another small piece of them gasps, turns blue, and slowly dies, smothered beneath a blanket of conformity and mainstream expectation.

           There are those reading this who believe that the only alternative is to advocate an aggressive campaign of in-your-face proselytizing or a purposeful rubbing-of-your-private-life in the noses of everyone around you. Nothing could be more harmful. Problems with personal supression and cultural pressure to conceal yourself do not automatically justify any endeavor to increase visibility. Keep in mind that as much as humans have the inherent right to be themselves, they also possess the right to their own private thoughts and lives. What makes matters worse is that it seems that living such a private life is getting harder and harder. Technological and corporate intrusion aside, living privately has been threatened by the fact that there are so many of us. Humans are spreading across the face of the globe in a choking wave of which privacy is only the most obvious casualty. But waning or not, the right to live our own lives away from the interference of others must not be offered up for sacrifice on the altar of individual expression.

           A happy medium must be found.

           Look at the people who conceal their life and beliefs. Many times their actions are born of fear. These people are afraid of what will happen to them should someone with power (and a hypothetical dislike of them) find out that they are not a member of the mainstream. In many cases, we possess these fears even when there is no tangible threat. Many people in various subcultures go about their lives merrily and openly ... except when faced with an environment in which they feel awkward. Then, they conjure up of an omnipresent threat to justify their desire to remain isolated and "safe." However, where will our community be if we refuse to be open even on those occasions where not only is openness a part of the occasion but is also safer than just about anyplace else? What happens when we can't feel safe even when surrounded by others like ourselves? If we cannot be ourselves even when at our most secure, we'll find ourselves descending deeper and deeper into paranoia.

           Imagine a Wiccan ritual where everyone wears masks out of fear of discovery. Picture a Furry convention where no one wants to speak about their latest anthropomorphic art purchase because it might get leaked and find its way back to ... someone? What about getting a date if you're gay or bi and all around you, you see the shadows of McCarthy-like persecutors ... even while sitting in your favorite gay bar? Those are just a few samples of what creeping paranoia can be like.

           If that's not a sufficiently haunting thought, consider this: what will become of us when those we fear realize that they have power over us? What will happen when those who persecute us realize that their very presence can force us into the shadows by mere speculation that they could be watching?

           By hiding -by avoiding media, the press, and outsiders- we are giving power to those who distrust us.

Fear Itself

           The only thing we have to fear, really, is that "they" will use what we hold secret, against us. It's pre-emptive blackmail. We act out of what someone might do or say long before we get a letter written in torn-up bits of newspaper. We hide for the very reason that -if revealed- we could lose something. Worse, we justify our actions by saying that it's only a reasonable precaution. The physical bars on our doors and metaphorical chains around our lives are constructs that we have come to believe that we need. And, like Ebenezer Scrooge whose misdeeds and transgressions formed an ethereal chain heavy enough to crush a herd of elephants, those who deny themselves will go to their graves bearing a weight that just keeps getting heavier and more onerous.

           We can't keep this up!

           The solution doesn't even require coming out and being flagrantly different. All it takes is the resolution to live life openly and without fear! People must have the courage to risk being fired, yelled-at, or made the target of mockery and persecution. Without being prepared to take risks, we can not advance towards personal freedom.

           I know something about risks. As a child, I never took any; I was far too afraid. That fear does not go away, either. Since then, that trepidation has paralyzed me and left me at the whims and dictates of random chance. Other people have gained more influence over my choices than me! It takes monumental effort for me to resist my lifelong urges to be docile and -instead- try to go beyond what I know.

           Now, granted, this centrist approach to life has given me a certain measure of security in which I've been free to practice my religion and other elements of my life on my own terms. I used to be proud of the fact that I'd found a way to get by and get along in a sometimes hostile society: I would fly beneath the radar of the mainstream. The awful realization I am faced with today is that these terms on which I've been living HAVE NOT BEEN MY OWN!

           All that safety has been an illusion!

           For all my work at being staid and careful with my life, my rewards have been stagnation and predictability. Sure, I've been able to practice my religion in peace but what sort of peace is it if I alter my actions to suit the speculated actions of some hypothetical enemy?

           Yes, the economy is in the crapper; many of us fear not having a job and being able to meet our most common, economic needs. If we come out as members of whatever group it is that we belong to, we run the risk of losing it our most basic ability to fend for ourselves. But secrecy itself is helping foster these problems. Think about it: if there were no secrets being kept, we could go out, find some like-minded people, and create a support network for when things do go wrong! Secrecy keeps us from creating the very communal structures that can save us when the bad guys really do come to visit.

           Life should not be spent on bended knee asking de-facto acceptance from the statistical mainstream by hiding the fullness of who we are. It is far better to stand up proudly, not shoving a life down anyone's throat, and always be vigilant in being ourselves.

           We can have our children taken away? Our jobs? Our families? Perhaps: it has happened. But it's very, very rare. Statistically, you stand a better chance of winning the lottery. We hear these horror stories and -like those who hear tales of the wicked witch in "Hansel & Gretel"- sometimes take them far too close to heart for our own good. It is our own climate of fear that we're perpetuating with our secrecy! Rather than locking our doors to keep out "the villian who could be anyone" we have metaphorical doors on our lives: shadows to conceal ourselves so that the boogeyman of the mainstream won't find us!

           But by these actions the boogeyman is given more power over us.

           As an example, keep in mind that I am a bisexual male who's all-too-fond of the male form. I have, in the past, simply called myself "gay" because I've been concerned about the long explanations needed to overcome years of misconception about the term "bi." I have to be careful to explain that it's not a choice, I'm not a fence-sitter, and while I have the capacity for finding women and men both attractive, I may fluctuate between what I prefer the most. To be honest, I'm even more interested in guys than gals at this stage in my life! So, to make matters easier, I've called myself "gay" more often than not. But what am I getting for my generalizations and pithy methods of misdirection? Ulcers. Heart palpitations. Paranoia. Suspicion. While my action to call myself "gay" was born of practical matters (and a frustration with long, rambling explanations), it was still a form of self-suppression. With all the walls of secrets, double-definitions, and hidden meanings all I'd accomplished is constructing a prison that was slowing sucking the life out of me.

           I just finished watching an episode of the British television series "Waking The Dead". This particular story dealt with the investigation into an old serial killer, currently behind bars. Of course, as always happens in television land, this mass-murderer escapes and starts stalking "the one who got away". At the end, after everything is resolved, the one near-victim who had survived the attack is being comforted by the lead character who says, "Don't worry: he's going back to his life sentence." She responds in a broken voice, "so am I."

           That's what we've built for ourselves: prisons! The problem is, our term of incarceration is indefinite.

           So what if a Pagan goes to a public ritual where the media shows up? There are worse things in the world than to be manipulated by the media. Besides, more and more, people are fighting back against false characterization. The solution isn't to run and hide, it's to face those who would betray us and stop them in their tracks. Maybe our weapons are no longer swords and spears but lawsuits, vigils, boycotts, and mere openness can achieve far more in a Democratic society than those archaic tools ever could. They may not be flashy and using them may not give us the same sense of satisfaction as we'd get by gutting our persecutors and leaving them to slowly die an ignominious death while being feasted upon by vultures, but -hey- itís an imperfect world.

Superstition and Control

           As a Wiccan, I learned an immeasurable amount from my teacher. He told me, and the rest of my classmates, about the paths that Wiccans usually choose when they are initiated. Some of the common paths are "Teacher," "Healer," and "Warrior." As I reflect on this handful of choices, it strikes me that secrecy benefits none of these.

           Does it benefit a teacher to hide from those most in need of their lessons? Does it help a healer to conceal their gifts from those who may need them? How brave and warrior-like is it for a person to shroud themselves from others and never take a stand or risk? These questions certainly occurred to my teacher. While he took care to guard the privacy of his students, he lived his life without fear or reservation. I'm sure he had his weaker moments -everyone does- but in the end he didn't hide who he was or what he believed. He trusted in his skills to face the challenges that were laid before him.

           That time I spent earning my First Degree as an American Traditional Wiccan also taught me the difference between a belief in magick and superstition. I believe it was my teacher's teacher, a High Priestess of great humor, intellect, and wisdom, who said (and here, I am paraphrasing), "To believe in magick is to believe you have power in your own hands; when you believe that you must perform specific, ritualistic tasks to protect yourself from those forces out of pre-emptive concern, then the belief has taken control of you and has become superstition."

           It all boils down to fear!

           We must not be afraid to take action; we must stand up, stand together, and stand strong. We must be ourselves, be watchful, be prepared, and never, never, never allow ourselves to be paralyzed by fear!

           Michael Moore's film "Bowling for Columbine" concluded that the biggest contribution to the gun culture in the United States of America is that we live in fear: we fear our neighbors, we fear faceless corporate bosses, and we fear the things we cannot control or predict. Well, I'm telling you that to be public and open is to take back control over our lives; to deny fear! By living without secrets we take control away from that minority who may try to use our secrets against us.

           But what of the argument that we shouldn't have to be public about our lives? What about the fact that our religious rituals, bed partners, and recreational activities are for ourselves and no one else? Well, that's a fine position to take if you only exist within a select circle of accommodating friends and family, but the truism "no man is an island" has yet to be disproved. In a cosmopolitan society, you have only two choices: to withdraw from others, becoming a hermit or to try and live within the wider world, letting them know who you are.

           Rampant secrecy helped spawn many of the old witchcraft legends, but the Inquisitors' swords are rusty, today. Today, Witches have their civil rights. To fear a return to the Burning Times is perhaps reasonable but to let that fear cow us and keep us from standing up and preventing a return to those philosophies is only going encourage that slide into the past. We cannot deny the culpability of our own silence. It is long past time to throw off the gags and bonds visited upon our ancestors by both the Inquisition and those who would utilize their tactics. Being open in our identities is imperative to both building the tools by which our modern detractors can be fought and dispelling the shadows of lies that surround us.

           This applies to Witches, Furries, Gays, Lesbians, Transsexuals, Jews, Moslems, Atheists, Agnostics, and every group imaginable.

           Back in the pre-persecution days, the Witches didn't hide or cower. They practiced under the light of the full moon or in the stark clarity of sunlit fields. Our ancestors had their oath-bound secrets, to be sure, but they met the spiritual needs of their communities openly and with confidence. We dishonor the memories of those who died if we do not stand up and take our place on the world stage!

           It isn't for power. It isn't for control. It isn't for influence.

           It is for honesty, safety, and pride that we should -no, MUST- stand up, proudly, and be ourselves without fear! In the end, fear is far too powerful a weapon to be left to the hands of others. The only way to disarm our opponents is to face our own fear and remove its sharp teeth. That's a hard process, to be sure; it isn't easy. But if we want to live without fear, we must remove the vehicles by which fear can control us.

           And that means living openly.

Fighting Back

           So, what happens when they do come knocking at your door? On the day when the new Inquisitors arrive, what then? Those who live openly will certainly be the first targets. No one who has seen the few years following September 11th, 2001 can deny that new witch hunts can always be spawned.

           I suggest that by living openly, while risk is there, you are preemptively disarming those who would come after you, later.

           But what about the media? What about negative portrayals? The subculture known as "Furries" has certainly faced this problem quite a bit in recent years. Being portrayed as sexual deviants, nearly every mainstream news, magazine, or television report detailing their subculture has portrayed them as immoral, strange, and social outcasts. The media's version of Furries is about as accurate as Christianity's version of Witchcraft.

           What do you do if, by living in the public eye, you become the target of sensationalism or bald-faced lies? You do what every person who wants their freedom does: you fight back intelligently and appropriately.

           It's become too common for people to complain and moan about media portrayal. I have heard countless people bemoaning the power of the journalists, wringing their hands over what to do against so powerful a foe. However, when the topic of standing up to those media organizations comes up, the angry shouting and frustration tends to be turned against the person actually suggesting that something be done. It would appear that rather than do the hard work of standing up for ourselves, we'd rather sit in our miserable little life boat and attack the person who's rocking it.

           Why do we feel the need to fight internally over this? Aren't there enough real enemies out there? Is it really that hard to stand up for yourself?

           Well, yes.

           It is.

           It isn't easy: it takes time and devotion. But what other course is there? Change in society does not happen because people sit back and rely upon their message to just "sink in" through osmosis. While certain acts of confrontation are certainly not helpful, at the same time doing nothing only helps confirm -via silence- that those who created those inaccurate media reports, were right all along!

           This isn't to say that every time we see a Wiccan on a TV show portrayed negatively that we have to get our robes in a bunch and fly off the broom handle. Hardly. Entertainment is entertainment. Portrayal by elected officials and news outlets is far more important. In other words, choose your battles wisely. Whimsical television shows that showcase a certain subculture badly are probably not as important as a major news agency that does the same thing. Getting active about every, last infringement only encourages a negative view of the non-mainstream culture you are trying to defend by making its adherents look like nit-pickers and thin-skinned "victims."

           Sure, letting television producers know that they've made sensationalistic mistakes (purposeful or not) that slander your particular cultural group is a good idea. However, unless the transgression is the most egregious of misrepresentations, going to arms just isn't worth it. Realizing that you can't save everyone from bad media portrayals is the first step to healthy activism. Knowing that you can't reach everyone and that there will always be at least one person who has their opinions formed by the latest episode of their favorite cop drama, is a sane response. Just sigh, shake your head, and get on with your life, focusing on the real threats.

           People learn a lot by watching TV, however they learn even more by getting to know a non-mainstream individual, personally. If, as I suggested earlier, we live openly without fear and with the expectation that -occasionally- we'll have to fight, and fight hard, we will show people around us the truth.

           If we reach the people personally, then no number of episodes of "Sex2K," "Baywatch Nights," or rants from Jerry Falwell are going to change their minds.

           That's where the real activism is: in reaching out to friends, family, and co-workers to show them that the illusions on their television screens are just that. We must dispel the glamours, banish the myths, and take charge of our images in a selective, effective campaign of intelligently applied activism.

           If a news organization really does portray a minority badly, then members of that minority should stand up to them and take to the courts for libel or slander. If a media portrayal has a direct negative effect upon your employment or quality of life, don't be afraid to take charge and call them to task for it.

           As Spider-Man's uncle said, "With great power comes great responsibility." I believe that freedom of speech is the greatest power in a Democracy but with it comes the unregulated responsibility to use it wisely.

           Keep in mind that not everything that's negative is a bad thing. Not every scandalous TV show or news article is purposely slanted. There is always the danger of slipping into a victim mentality if people in a small subculture decide that their enemies are everywhere.

           Be vigilant, be proud, but -mostly- be skeptically intelligent.

Facing Our Fears

           In the end, what have we learned?

           Fear is the mind killer; Frank Herbert was right about that. Fear controls us, rules us, and binds us in the shadows of those who -likewise- fear our ways. Recognition of those who incorrectly portray us is not a bad thing: it's a truthful realization. Only when that knowledge is allowed to cow us or beat us down to inaction is when it's moved from "belief in magick" to "superstition." We must stand up against those who misrepresent us and be honest about who we are. We must be ready to accept the bad of our reality along with the good; concealing something only lends fuel to those who would point at us and say "See? They've got something to hide!" In the end, our trepidation is the enemy. It stalls us, confounds us, and makes us hesitant.

           We must face our responsibilities and fight for what we believe in.

           We must avoid falling into the trap of being "victims."

           Most of all, however, we must stop being afraid...

©2003 Sylvan SilverNight
November 10th, 2003