Many people want to be told that everything will be all-right. When catastrophe strikes or a disaster claims lives, property and dreams, the most commonly heard question is "Why?". As far as the news will travel; relatives, friends and empathetic people will respond to the unpleasant information by spreading it around, as if -in so doing- they can lift the burden that the knowledge of calamity brings. However, after the news dies down and the bustle of whispered observations, oaths and admonishments fade into the ever-present background-noise of modern society, that anguish is still there.

   "He was a quiet man; kept mostly to himself. Nobody would ever have suspected..."

   This phrase, so often repeated by witnesses to human carnage, has become a joke. In a vain attempt to distance ourselves from the widening circles of pain that we see poured across newspaper headlines and beamed into our televisions, radios and computers, the jaded populace of the Twentieth Century's last, gasping years try desperately to find cause, rhyme and reason for things that they have little vested interest in understanding.

   And why should we?

   Understanding is a dangerous thing. When we ask "Why?" about some horrible event, be that a murder, kidnapping, rape or other unspeakable crime, do we really want to know the cause? How often do people really seek to understand the underlying principles and issues that give rise such atrocious actions? For many, it's much easier to simply shake their fist or shed a tear; shouting some cliche-laden threat or moaning a mournful promise to the memory of a victim. But, like grief, these emotions fade too and -over time- become part of the joke.

   Mentally, the makeup of a killer is thankfully alien to most people. While it is true that anyone is capable of committing any crime, the depth of dedication to one's own psychological illness that's necessary to achieve such a task -in any lasting or far-reaching scope- is rare. But if this is the case and serial killers, mass-murderers and their ilk are so unusual, shouldn't they stick out? Shouldn't they be noticeable?

   According to conventional wisdom, they are. They are the people who don't communicate with others in the neighborhood. They wear black clothing or seem strangely quiet and reserved. Most of them don't enjoy sports or even -worst of all- seem disgruntled with the world around them; lashing out at politics, listening to outrageous music or cynically criticizing members of the status quo. They are social misfits and outcasts; the well from which spring the evils of our imperfect world.

   Or are they?

   Whenever an outcast lashes out, why is it that the mainstream doesn't want to recognize their part in building the psychology of the misfit? To be sure, there can be no excuse for the criminal act that a murderer commits, but what about extended culpability? If anyone is really serious about fixing the violent problems that plague us in our schools, offices and communities, they must stop contributing to the psychology that makes such violence possible in the first place.

   Conformity is not the answer. Nor is a "warm-fuzzy", superficial or well-meant compliment. People -young or old- don't have to behave like everybody else in order to avoid adopting an outcast mentality. It's the presence of ridicule, mockery and derision that fuel those feelings. Listening to disturbing lyrics of harsh music or finding solace in dark, gloomy surroundings is not a red flag to watch out for, nor a thing to be "fixed". People who indulge in unusual, non-mainstream behavior have lives that can be just as fulfilling -or just as superficial- as any White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. But instead of accepting that, the majority of people deride and demonize those who don't fit in.

   Rather than accept or even appreciate the contributions of those who are out of the ordinary, we teach them that they are worthy of our contempt; exiling them to the life of a social outcast. At a young age, many such misfits often become involved -against their will- in communal activities in which they have no interest. How many counselors and psychologists have told parents to enroll their kids in summer camp, private schools or local sports to straighten them out? This, in and of itself, only adds to the problem. Not only does it approach the youth as a problem to be fixed, it tells them that they should be enjoying this game of football or this shopping-trip-to-buy-shoes rather than exploring and discovering who they are. It adds to their isolation by highlighting what the mainstream considers 'normal' and contrasting those things with the outcast's interests.

   Even if a misfit doesn't seem to need the inclusion of the wider society, the impact is there just the same. A lifetime of pain, insults and negative reputations add up. And when the bomb of an outcast's psyche goes off, those of us who helped contribute -with something so little as a suspicious look, whispered rumor or hateful joke- have the audacity to look stunned and ask "Why?".

   Time and again, after violent disasters, we hear many voices asking these sorts of questions. What can we do to stop this from happening again? Who is responsible? How should the perpetrators be punished? Why? Why? Why?

   And -likewise- time and again we have heard the mantra that, while you can have a plan, it's never enough to meet the need. We can only prepare for the worst and, then, redouble our efforts when it comes to pass. We're told that, to a sick mind, there is no "Why". We are told that understanding isn't possible, that we can live safely in the assumption that such a thing -while horrible- is not only thankfully rare, but also a sickness brought about by some malfunction in a diseased and insular brain.

   Yet by relying upon such admonishments so commonly, aren't we just dooming ourselves to repeat the same problems? If we go on assuming that no matter what we do, it won't be enough, how will we ever know if the problem can be solved? If we think that these types of crimes arise from a sick mind that is Somebody Else's Problem and has no relationship to the people or society that surrounded it, how will we ever find answers and potential solutions?

   There may be no way to stop every crime that erupts in such a violent fashion as the Oklahoma City bombing, the Columbine High School shooting or the murder spree of Andrew Cunanan, but until such a time as we -as individuals and as a society- can look at our own actions and see how they may have contributed to the psychology of the crimminal (or someone like them), we'll always be asking a question that we don't want answered. How do we help people feel like they are a part of society and still let them indulge their non-mainstream ways?

   The answer is simple and difficult at the same time. We have to stop judging them. We can't expect a boy who enjoys reading poetry and the essays of Samuel Clemens to not be effected by year after year of jokes, ridicule and criticism. We can't expect a girl who finds the dark music of Trent Reznor introspective, to walk through life without feeling the effect of lies, rumors and mockery regarding speculations on her personal life. And these are merely the differences that center on interests and recreation. How about those who are made outcasts by their gender, skin color, age, religion, sexual orientation or weight?

   Are there psychopaths and criminal outcasts that no amount of social acceptance would have helped? Quite probably. But can we afford to take the chance that -by our exclusionary behavior and derisive words towards anything that does not fit into the neat, little category of "the mainstream"- we aren't contributing to the overall problem? We don't need to be a happy, bliss-filled world of content drones. We don't have to hammer the misfits into molds of our ideal children and citizens. But the amount of self-righteousness and condemnation that exists in the so-called mainstream -be it based in sociological prejudice, media-inspired definitions of beauty, historical issues or religious beliefs- is a major, contributing factor towards the evils that fill our imperfect world.

   But if you really want to help face and overcome them, dare to ask yourself "Why?" and take responsibility for your words and deeds.

   Blessed Be,
   Sylvan SilverNight
   Solitary Celtic Wiccan
   Minneapolis, Minnesota

   April 22nd, 1999